In 2020, I watched Jesse Cole take the stage in his now-famous yellow tuxedo, and I had no idea the ripple effect it would have on me.

The tux represented something deeper: permission to be fully, unapologetically yourself…and to let your brand reflect that.

Since then, I’ve found my yellow tux: the violin.

It’s not because I’m the best violinist in the world. It’s because it represents the creativity, energy, and brain-based marketing insights that define my work. And it instantly grabs attention in a way that’s me!

And now, I want to help you find your version of that.

Here’s how.

Step 1: What’s Your Differentiator?

Let’s start with a question I ask every client: What frustrates you about your industry?

You know the stuff that drives you nuts? The trends, assumptions, or patterns that make you want to stand on a table and scream “It doesn’t have to be this way!”

That frustration is a goldmine. Because chances are, if it frustrates you, it probably frustrates your ideal audience, too.

Now go deeper: What do you consistently say that almost no one else is saying?

This is where it gets hard. Most of us think we’re being unique, but we’re just echoing the same advice with slightly different packaging.

For me, that moment came when I realized that my differentiator wasn’t just small business marketing. It was neuroscience-informed marketing that makes sense especially for ADHD brains.

That’s what no one else in my field was talking about. That’s what made me different.

If you’re still teasing this out, I break this down further in Marketing That Works in a Turbulent Economy, where I explain how to build brand trust through clarity and alignment.

Step 2: What Are You Best At?

Not what you think you should be great at. Not what you’ve been trained to say on LinkedIn.

What are you truly best at?

Sometimes it’s a skill. Sometimes it’s a style. Sometimes, like me, it’s a specific lens you apply to a common problem.

For example, I’m not just good at marketing strategy. I’m great at creating creative, ADHD-friendly frameworks that feel intuitive (instead of overwhelming) and get attention fast.

That’s not just what I do, it’s how I do it. And that “how” makes a massive difference.

If you’re struggling to name this clearly, this blog on Clarifying Your Marketing Message will help you cut through the fog and get to the gold.

Step 3: What’s the Representation of Those Two Things?

This is the “yellow tux” moment.

What can you physically show or wear that reflects what makes you different?

For me, it was the violin.

I already played for fun. But when I realized it symbolized creativity + neuroscience + energy, I started using it in keynotes, workshops, and even videos.

It became a signature that says, This is Stephanie’s stage.

For you, it might be:

• A signature outfit (like Jesse’s tux or “blue shirt guy”)
  
• A prop or hobby that connects to your brand story
  
• A symbol or item you always carry (a tool, a book, a color)

Look at what already exists in your life. Something you love. Something meaningful. Something unexpected.

Your goal isn’t to copy anyone. It’s to find the thing that makes people remember you instantly, and feel something when they do.

Why This Matters

Jesse Cole says:

If you want to stand out, you can’t blend in.

That doesn’t mean being loud for the sake of loud. It means digging deep into what makes you you, and then finding the clearest, most memorable way to express that.

It’s not always easy. That last step – finding the “thing” – can be the trickiest. But when you land it, your brand becomes more than just what you sell. It becomes who you are.

Want to Build a Brand That Gets Remembered?

Your marketing doesn’t need to be louder. It needs to be more you.

If you're ready to build a business that reflects your brilliance and actually gets attention, let’s talk. We can work together to build a marketing strategy that fits you.

Because standing out shouldn't mean burning out.